Be Who You Are

In a time when the masses are being pressured to be uniform, I choose to be who I am; that may mean that at times I will be within the norm and at times I may be taboo.  I'm married and because my marriage didn't work out I am single.  In a Caribbean environment where it is acceptable in the culture for one person to have multiple relationships or to 'hon', I choose to be single and celibate.  I don't necessarily advise others to do the same.  Many people would choose to remarry and the like.  But that's not for me.  I choose to do what works for me, I choose to be alone.  Less stress and problems!

Don't be afraid to be the one who sticks out. 
Sometimes being the individual is the best thing you can do.

I choose not to have children.  As a person with mental health issues I truly believe in living simply.  I believe it is important for me to be as responsible as I can so that I can maintain the freedom I have.  That responsibility includes the decisions I make for myself.  These decisions encompass the results of my actions short term and long term.  The most important thing my mother taught me was that I will be responsible for decisions I make and my uncle taught me that I will be the one to live with the results of my actions.  On that note, children are a blessing!  Yes they are, but I don't see the blessing in not being able to feed or properly care for them.  As a person with these kinds of health issues, my choice to sacrifice the beautiful blessing of having children in order to live a less stressful and more successful life is my personal choice.


A decision to remain childless takes work.  I have to choose to remain single and celibate even when I may want the companionship of a mate.  It takes work!  I have to deny myself.  When I see myself talking with a male and I detect an affection coming on, I have to cut it off.  Nip it in the bud, before it flowers.  It's like remaining faithful to myself.


I choose to keep few friends, but lots of acquaintances.  I think you have to know who you are and be content with who you are.  Remembering that you are unique and that there is nothing wrong with that.  I have always been what I call a loner.  I have always had a small core group of friends.  But that core of friends have been good and loyal friends.  There was a time I would try to make more friends, until I realized it was unnecessary.  Having one good friend can mean so much more than having a number of unreal friends.  Remember not everyone has friends.  Not everyone is the same.  If you are fortunate enough to have friends, you’re fortunate.  I can understand what it’s like to not have friends.  There are times I have had no friends.  Remember you can be kind to yourself and treat yourself like you would want a friend to treat you.  Just like you would have an outing with a friend, have outings with yourself.  Enjoy your own company and soon enough, if you desire, you will attract friends.


I choose not to have a car.  I have been encouraged a number of times to get a car.  But why?  Because it is the acceptable status symbol?  I realize that I don't need a car.  I can take public transit anywhere I need to go.  I live right in the business district on my island and I don't need a car.  Everything is in walking distance.  There is no need for me to have a car.  When public transit is not the wise choice I can always get a taxi.  These are one of the decisions which could be considered taboo, but it works for me.

An indulgence I don't need right now.

I'm a bit on the frugal side, I choose not to have cable television.  This decision was made because I realize that I truly only watch about 3 hours of TV per week.  Since I am not really a TV person, I prefer to listen to music, and the radio, I cancelled my subscription.  These are decisions I made for myself.  You do what works for you! 

These are some of the decisions that have shaped my life.  But what I encourage is not to be influenced by what the masses are doing.  Do what works for you.  Be who you are!